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3Episodes
Category: Comedy:Improv

A weekly podcast wherein we freestyle ‘reviews’ of books we haven’t read, with tenacity, ingenuity and palpable desperation. We only judge a book by its cover!

October 17, 2019

42 · Richard A Knaak’s Page-Hacking Exploits

Cover artThis week, in "Shattered Light", by Richard A. Knaak: 

In the first (and only) literary MMORPG, fans of books and video games found the worst of both worlds: a limitless world of possibilities that punishes imagination and demands rigid adherence to an obscure and unfathomable formula.

K helps his buddy out of a tricky pickle. Khaki exercises his right to armor bears.

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October 10, 2019

41 · Marion Zimmer Bradley’s Spanking the Pixie

Cover artThis week, in "Greyhaven", by Marion Zimmer Bradley

The children of the cartoon Dungeons & Dragons eventually returned to the real world, but each fled back to this magical realm to reclaim their wondrous, magical destinies — and hide from their regrets, debts and arrest warrants.

But there is no escape in: the Realm of Dungeons and Dragons!

K quotes @dr5bludgeoning's excellent Twitter joke. Khaki has a lot in common with bears.

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October 3, 2019

40 · Barry B. Longyear’s Robot Gigolo Nuts and Bolts

Cover artThis week, in "Naked Came the Robot", by Barry B. Longyear: 

A botched back-alley transition leaves Victor’s mind in the chassis of a sexbot decommissioned for accidentally killing users. Now she must fight for love against a dying planet, a crumbling society, and the unpredictable destructive strength of her synthetic muscles.

K tells a story about Napoleon's cutlery. Khaki's back on his bullshit: costumes.

With thanks to Friend-of-the-Library Old Pines for the synopsis of this week's book. Find his writing and prompts at https://creative.oldpines.wtf

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September 26, 2019

39 · Brett Davis’s Ballad of Butthole, Montana

Cover artThis week, in "Two Tiny Claws", by Brett Davis: 

Aging Brontho herder Blaze Maverick rides into town decades after everybody thought he'd perished in the Great Northern Stampede and old feuds flare up in the sleepy western town of Butthole, Montana.

K explains how to tell black bears from grizzlies. Khaki sets an example to the Velibraraptors.

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September 19, 2019

38 · Travis S. Taylor’s Motorboat City U.S.A.

Cover artThis week, in “The Quantum Connection", by Travis S. Taylor: 

In this sequel to Operation: Damocles:

With a cordon-sanitaire having been erected around the Gay Belt, our intrepid heroes must fight their way through an alien siege to liberate the only intergalactic communicator in the Solar System.

K questions the guano. Khaki's episodic memory is tested.

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September 12, 2019

37 · Jeffrey Lord’s Best Book Ever

Cover artThis week, in “Jewel of Tharn", by Jeffrey Lord: 

It's the Dark Ages, the Church has banned books, beauty, and bare buns!

Dick Blade and his magic singing spear must save their nudist colony from the encroaching Crusaders who wish to crush their peaceful ways.

Will he convince the local Abbot to forsake the cloth or will the changing seasons force Dick to muffle his cry for freedom?

K paraphrases Terry Pratchett again. Khaki knows a little about Naples.

Dedicated to our compatriots over at GoodShowSir, without whom this podcast would be a barren wasteland (and without whose encouragement we'd never have reviewed a Dick Blade book), and to Friend-of-the-Library Ex for contributing this week's synopsis!

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September 5, 2019

36 · Louise Katz’s Abacus-Diabolique

Cover artThis week, in “Myfanwy's Demon", by Louise Katz: 

A dildosmith's daughter in medieval Wales, who dreams of making it big as a traveling xylophone soloist accidentally summons the last surviving member of an ancient demonic race, who turns out to be way groovier than Myfanwy could ever have imagined.

K has no regrets. Khaki knows a lot about alphabets.

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August 29, 2019

35 · Poul Anderson’s Tiger Ball Pit

Cover artThis week, in “The Game of Empire", by Poul Anderson: 

After a drunken wish, Princess Jasmine and her loyal tiger Rajah find themselves transported to a strange alien world where technology makes no sense and there's not a genie nor parrot in sight.

K deals with an unwelcome double-helix. Khaki is dragged into Hell.

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August 22, 2019

34 · Charles L. Harness’s Jonathan Jr. First Blood, Part III: Pig in the City

Cover artThis week, in “Krono", by Charles L. Harness: 

An embittered wife-and-husband team of planetary surveyors travel to the frontier wilderness of planet Krono, each scheming the other's demise, and find they have more in common than they ever thought. (Do you like piña coladas?)

K questions Dorian Grey's gems. Khaki tries to impress at his first performance review.

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August 15, 2019

33 · Robert Schekley’s Blacklight Barcode Ballet

Cover artThis week, in “Immortality, Inc.", by Robert Scheckley: 

In an alternate universe where the :CueCat became a success and this absurd device became essential for everyday life, replacing the written word with diagonal barcodes, the inventor of the QR code goes on the run to protect her invention from the Barcode Hegemony and ushers the Information Age into the second dimension.

K looks forward to life returning to 'normal'. Khaki turns the tables and ruffles some feathers.

Find CoverMyAssCast on TwitterGmail and www.covermyasscast.com.