Category: Comedy:Improv

Every week we gleefully and desperately ‘review’ a baffling book we haven’t read, with tenacity, ingenuity and love— we only judge a book by its cover!

February 13, 2020

59 · A Pound of Fuck-Clumps

Cover art

The little town of Big Beaver, Pennsylvania, struggling to rebound after the closure of its electric novelty crucifix factory is beset by a swarm of turtlenecked, espresso-swilling, horn-rimmed Satanists drawn in by its Authenticity.

A conflict of biblical proportions brews between the Dark Prince and their traditional nemesis: the interim chairperson of the Homeowners' Association.

— "The Devil Finds Work" by Michael Delving

Read the rest of this entry »

February 6, 2020

58 · The One-Eyed Venetian

Cover art

You’ve enjoyed the noir classics The Big Heat and The Big Sleep; now try…

The Big Eye!

"My partner Denton Wrinklesuit just ain’t cut out to be a private eye. Always trippin’ on sidewalks, takin’ his dates and their perky nipples down with him. Well, buddy, try doin’ a stakeout as a very public eye like me. It’s goin’ real great — I’m sure nobody’s noticed me up here, just like I didn’t notice that goddamn skyscraper that just socked me right in the cornea.

These people. Maybe if I had a jaunty bowtie, they’d find me less frightening. And the warning I boomed out was about an eye dilation, since I’d just been to the doc — not sure where they got annihilation. “Red peril”, they call me. Well, maybe I do need some drops... and I’m sure I need a drink."

— "The Big Eye" by Max Ehrlich

Read the rest of this entry »

January 30, 2020

57 · Through the Ear of a Cover Artist

Cover art

Objection!

Daytime TV star Romula DeDeridex is mistaken for the galaxy's brightest adjudicator and kidnapped to mediate between two galactic empires — literally cats and dogs! — vying for custody of their recently-discovered ancestral homeworld. With the threat of war looming overhead, Romula must come to grips with the complexities and seductions of... Space Court!

— "Between Darkness and Light" by Lisanne Norman

Read the rest of this entry »

January 23, 2020

56 · Hyper-Light Blessing

Cover art

The wise intergalactic mediator Ming the Motiveless struggles to maintain democracy and peace among the stars when the charismatic Yale poloist Flash "Yeet" Gordon sets out in his rocket-ship Manifest Destiny to colonize uncivilized space by spreading the gospel of neo-lib capitalism and training malcontents in guerilla tactics to install regimes friendly to Flash's imperialist interests.

— "Black Star Chronicles" by DJ Arneson & Tony Tallarico

Read the rest of this entry »

January 16, 2020

55 · OK Hoofer

Cover art

Since the discovery that drinking dissolved unicorns enhances magical ability these glorious creatures have been poached to the brink of extinction, depleting the world's ambient levels of magic and exacerbating the demand — only our young, responsible heroes stand in the way of thaumaturgical disaster!

— "The Unicorn Solution" by John Lee

Read the rest of this entry »

January 9, 2020

54 · A Broom In A Dress

Cover art

In a society where the quaint custom of 'Stealing the Bride' is taken very seriously, Susan Black's career as a wedding planner is about to make a meteoric rise when she lands the contract for the crown prince's upcoming nuptials, which take on the scope of a land war in Asia or invading Russia in winter.

— "Rules of Engagement" by Elizabeth Moon

Read the rest of this entry »

January 2, 2020

53 · Tenzing Norgay’s Cameraman

Cover art

A bumblebrained young blunder-dunce is mistaken for an eccentric prodigy and tasked with creating wondrous new technologies to safely exploit the Arctic mineral resources. Together with his well-meaning but equally incompetent friends, Tom Swift nobly strives and disastrously fails to live up to his parents' rose-tinted expectations, to the ruin of all who believed in him.

— "Tom Swift and his Atomic Earth Blaster" by Victor Appleton II

Read the rest of this entry »

December 26, 2019

52 · Anne McCaffrey’s Whizzy-Blendy Thing

Cover art

The dimension-hopping gigglewitch Anne McCaffrey teleports into a sleepy town in medieval France to delight the townsfolk's upper crust with a sumptuous dinner spread — but when one of the guests is murdered Mrs. McCaffrey must use all her magical cooking skills uncover the truth and find the proof in the pudding.

— Serve It Forth: Cooking with Anne McCaffrey" by Anne McCaffrey with John Gregory Betancourt

K grins and bears his good friend's cooking. Khaki edits the fuck out of this episode.

Cover art: https://mcdn.podbean.com/mf/web/sr6f7z/CMA-052.jpg

Find CoverMyAssCast on TwitterGmail and www.covermyasscast.com.

December 19, 2019

51 · The Omega Kink

Cover art

This week, in "Time Ninja", by Andy Schoepp: 

The T.E.R.F. have surprisingly succeeded in their quest to eliminate letters from the LGB Trigrammaton, and the cool 23rd-century multiqueers of Earth and Space conspire to build and train the Ultimate Time Ninja to send them back to protect the Polygrammaton of LGBTQIAIAO+ of the 21st century and expand the Galaxy's future rather than limiting it.

K knows a lot about Japan. Khaki is gets a workout.

Cover art: https://mcdn.podbean.com/mf/web/p3df9u/CMA-051.jpg

Find CoverMyAssCast on TwitterGmail and www.covermyasscast.com.

December 12, 2019

50 · I Can’t Believe It’s Nut-Butter!

Cover art

PARENTAL GUIDANCE:
As this is the first non-explicit episode of Cover My Ass, we advise our readers-at-home to listen to it in private. With headphones.

This week, in "The Price of Temptation", by M. J. Pearson: 

A Very Special Friendship blossoms between two young men from different worlds: one a dashing rooster-tamer whose wild independence threatens his inheritance of his mother's nut-butter fortune, and the other a simple butter-churner from a low-born family of pipe-cleaners who dreams of becoming a theatre backstagehand.

K factually reports the title of a book. Khaki is finally ready to embark.

Cover art: https://mcdn.podbean.com/mf/web/25srsv/CMA-050.jpg

Find CoverMyAssCast on TwitterGmail and www.covermyasscast.com.